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it’s groovy to destroy fascism/typewriters not planning to kill us all can cooler

$14.50

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zombies.  beer.  artificial intelligence.  your most reliable typewriter.  what do they have in common?  they are all threads leading to — and out of — the end of the world.

“wait,” you query, “how can one get OUT of the end of the world?  isn’t that a logical fallacy?  like zombie jesus from the sky and fascists will bring freedom?”  yes, it’s true if you think literally.  don’t think so literally.  there.  fixed that.

the cool thing about having your own can cooler sleeve is you can kick back and enjoy your hopped adult beverage on your own terms.  no rush whatsoever. you’re too old to chug that stuff and too young to have developed 40 pounds of beer belly.  lucky bastard.  anyway, the trained monkeys at typewriter.works made this can cooler (aka koozie) to do two things at once:  keep your beer cold and provide interesting topics of conversation.

that’s a $75 value for a mere $14.50.  what a deal!

zombies.  beer.  antifa.  your most reliable typewriter.  what do they have in common?  they are all threads leading to -- and out of -- the end of the world.

"wait," you query, "how can one get OUT of the end of the world?  isn't that a logical fallacy?  like zombie jesus from the sky and fascism is freedom?"  yes, it's true if you think literally.  don't think so literally.  there.  fixed that.

the cool thing about having your own can cooler sleeve is you can kick back and enjoy your hopped adult beverage on your own terms.  no rush whatsoever. you're too old to chug that stuff and too young to have developed 40 pounds of beer belly.  lucky bastard.  anyway, the trained monkeys at typewriter.works made this can cooler (aka koozie) to do two things at once:  keep your beer cold and provide interesting topics of conversation.

the monkeys want me to charge twenty bucks a koozie for that.  they're demanding a new fan.

: durable slip-resistant neoprene
: fits standard 12 oz cans but not non-standard 12oz cans. those cans are weird. i heard it was a conspiracy of the gay communist guatemalan embassy in san francisco to confuse hard working american assholes like when they put the third prong on extension cords.  that's why people plug in their usb adapter upside down 50% of the time.  stupid gay illegal alien commies.

: black interior. first we thought about making the inside brown but figured black was less symbolic of alien anal torture.
: collapsible for easy storage in your back pocket.
: 1/4" (0.63 cm) thick.  nothing to write home about but it'll keep a 35 degree can below 50 farenheit for 38 seconds in phoenix.

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